Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
