Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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