She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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