wat bout pragnant strippers??
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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