do herpes really smell.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
