Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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