If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
