I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
