I cockslap morals
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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