We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
