At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
