The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
PANTIES FOUND
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