where am i from again
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize