everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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