wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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