How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
