It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
