As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There's always time for handjobs
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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