I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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