this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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