dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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