i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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