Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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