I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
