I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
this boner is exhausting
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Dicks are not precious.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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