1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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