You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize