So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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