: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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