So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
