I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
