Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I cut my penus on the lid.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
