they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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