the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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