If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
