Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
