fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
