And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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