hotel room ftw
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
