when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
