I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
