i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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