Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
