You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
