Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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