wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
