Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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