the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
