Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
