Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize