I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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