Are we in a gay sports bar?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
