i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just tell him i said nine months
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
