Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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