her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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